I love having good days. It almost makes me feel like I'm walking in the right direction. I hate that I'm walking alone now, but I just keep telling myself he walks with me just not in the same way.
I felt him the other day. I can't explain it, but I did. Makes me realize how much my heart hurts. Someday I will be with him again. Till then I will take the feelings for now.
I have realized through this experience that I am no longer afraid of death. I almost look forward to it. How many people can say that? No, I'm not having any suicidal thoughts. It's just that I know there's another place after this and I'm looking forward to being there. I have to learn to love life again. Right now I'm just living, I'm here because I have to be. Makayla and Alex need me. Eventually someone will come along and give me a reason to live again.
I have awhile for that. But it's nice to know my head, and heart are opening up to the idea. I will ALWAYS love Dustin. He was my best friend, my soul mate.
Who says you can't have two soul mates in your life? I'm unfortunate to have to be a widow. But I'm fortunate enough to know what love is and have experienced it.
Till next time.
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